What Oprah Never Told Him
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Post-ep for 6x01. Derek Morgan had picked up tons of knowledge from those afternoon talk shows his mother favored; could any of it help him deal with the BAU's resident genius.


**Author's Note: Hello, all our fanfic friends! Several announcements today, so, hang on tight!**

**This is a post-ep for episode 6x01.**

**Please, please, please don't forget to get your nominations in for the first EVER "Profiler's Choice Awards. Nomination ballots and rules are at the forum. Don't forget, I'm (ilovetvalot) still willing to write a oneshot of your pairing choosing to the next five people to complete a ballot. This is a wonderful opportunity to give your favorite stories and authors the recognition that they deserve on ff. net. Also, please remember, in the interest of just saying "no" to self-promotion, ilovetvalot and tonnie2001969 are NOT eligible for nomination.**

**Also, readers & authors, please come sound off on our newest discussion thread. Tell us how you'd feel about the idea of a fanfic based CM Christmas Gift Fic Exchange. We're eagerly soliciting opinions and ideas!**

**So, please, drop by and get a blank ballot and tell the fanfic community who YOUR favorites are! We'd love to have you!**

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**What Oprah Never Told Him**

Derek Morgan had pissed off more people today than he'd wanted to think about. Honestly, he was pretty sure there wasn't a member of his team...his surrogate family...that he hadn't torn a hunk out of in the last twenty-four hours.

He'd like to blame it on his concussion. It'd be an easy out. But, he knew that wasn't it. Today, he'd let the job affect his emotions...he'd taken it personally.

And he'd struck out...all freaking day long.

Some would forgive him easier than others, he thought as he trudged down the aisle, his earlier apology to JJ having fallen on deaf ears. He couldn't blame her. She'd had a hell of a day herself.

Baby Girl had grudgingly accepted his phone call, but he knew things weren't right between them yet. It required more than just a few quickly spoken words on a shaky cellular connection to appease his Princess. Prentiss was studiously ignoring him, her gaze icing over whenever he looked in her direction. Hotch had perfected his broody glare and defiantly crossed arms look to a tee. And Rossi simply looked at him with a mixture of pity and disgust.

So far, he was batting a thousand.

But, he thought hopefully, gazing at the slim man leaning against the window reading a book, there was still Reid. Perhaps his losing streak might just be coming to an end. Striding toward the seat of their youngest team member, Derek dropped his bag at Reid's feet with a plop. "What's doin', Boy Wonder?" he asked, keeping his voice deliberately light and even.

Studiously ignoring Derek's conversational overture, Reid kept his eyes trained on his novel, hoping he was doing a convincing job of being engrossed in Vonnegut's work. Of course, he had the entire tome memorized, so reading was purely a theoretical exercise at this juncture.

"C'mon, Pretty Boy," Derek cajoled, elbowing Reid lightly in the arm, jostling him, "Talk to me."

Frowning, Spencer Reid mentally rapped himself on the knuckles. Of course Derek Morgan wasn't going to allow himself to be ignored. His outgoing personality demanded attention…attention that he wasn't often denied. "I'm reading," Reid replied noncommittally, turning a page for emphasis.

"That might be better accomplished if you turned the book right side up," Derek grunted, reaching out a hand to flip Spencer's book around. "You'd suck at poker, man."

Rolling his eyes, Reid's fingers tightened around the book, pulling it away from Morgan's prying hand. "I really have nothing valuable to offer to a conversation right now, Morgan," Reid offered weakly, remembering his earlier promise to Garcia to keep his mouth closed on the issue of his partner's recent behavior today. He knew her intention was to keep him walking, talking and above all, breathing. What had she called it again? Ah yes, Garcia's Go-To Guide for Grumpy Gus Survival Skills 101…yet another one of the technical genius's attempts at improving his social skills and maintaining his very life, he assumed.

"So, the silent treatment?" Derek mused thoughtfully. "Not your usual style, is it, kid?" he asked with a slow grin.

"In the interest of my safety and your sanity, our common friend Garcia has recommended that I maintain a steadfast silence on the journey home," Reid informed him, reciting with alacrity the explanation that Penelope had vetted just an hour ago.

"Why?" Morgan chuckled.

"She seems to believe, and I concur, that you are of a rather...volatile mentality today," Reid mumbled, scooting toward the window in his seat, anxious to put a little distance between himself and the muscular man beside him.

"I had a shitty day," Derek muttered, flushing in momentary embarrassment and defense. Hell, had he really been that bad that his Baby Girl was running interference between him and the BAU's answer to Einstein? "I guess I took it out on you guys."

"Massive understatement," Reid replied under his breath, shifting a few inches farther away.

"Then let's talk about it," Morgan said readily, more than eager to clear the air with at least someone on his team.

"Unwise," Reid said tersely, affixing his eyes to the windowsill. Garcia warned you that Morgan would try this, he reminded himself.

"No, no it isn't. Problems can't be resolved by ignoring them," Morgan offered, patting himself on the back for his momentary channeling of both Oprah and Dr. Phil.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Reid shook his head. Silence, Reid. Silence is golden, he heard Garcia chanting in his mind. Too bad Garcia wasn't here in person to ensure that he held fast and true to those edicts.

"C'mon, kid, get it off your chest. Think of it as a freebie. Anything you say will not be held against you. Like Vegas, you say it on the plane and it stays on the plane," Morgan urged gamely.

Don't do it...Don't do it...

"It isn't good to let those feelings of hostility and resentment fester, Reid," Morgan goaded, looking for a reaction on the younger man's averted face. "Tell me what you think of me. Right now. Right here. You aren't scared, are you?"

Oh, how he tried to maintain that stoic silence. But, that final dig...that sent him turning sharply in his seat to face Morgan's earnest face. "You honestly want to know what I think of you today, Morgan?" Reid asked tightly, his fingers clenching around his discarded book.

"Hell, yeah," Morgan nodded, "Let me have it, kid."

"I believe the layman's vernacular would define you and your behavior as being that of a colossal asshole, Morgan. Yes, you, sir, are an asshole!" Reid said rapidly, rising quickly and scooting around Derek's long legs as the sound of a smattering of applause filtered around him.

"Where the hell are you going, Reid?" Derek yelped as Spencer stepped on his foot in his hurry.

"And I believe that would be best defined as hiding," Reid mumbled, his eyes searching rapidly for the safest location, "per Penelope's directive should this situation arise."

And as he watched Spencer Reid stumble up the aisle, taking a seat on Aaron Hotchner's far side, Derek shook his head, flopping heavily back in his seat.

What Dr. Phil and Oprah never told their audience was that making amends was highly freaking overrated.

_**Finis**_

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_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! **_

_**Again, thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting this story!**_


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